Friday, June 5, 2009

The Top 10 Celebrity Clause

I feel it is necessary just to point out that even in a healthy relationship between two committed people, that a very important rule needs to be established: The Celebrity Clause. I don't care what you say, if you ever happened to find yourself in the situation (as unlikely as it is) in which you had the opportunity to bang a particularly fine specimen of the celebritorial variety, you would totally do it. In a heartbeat. Don't lie to yourself, and don't lie to your partner; it's not fair to either of you. In order to maintain the honesty of your relationship, establish your celebrity clause, aka the celebrity you could sleep with and get away with it. I personally, being a huge whore, have a list of 10, carefully selected to be on this most prestigious roster. It is not a particularly typical list either; you will see neither Brad Pitt or George Clooney on there and you will probably call me a freak for some of my choices. Just be aware that I want to see your lists too in my comments section after all this, and I know full well who all is reading this these days so don't think you can get away with not commenting. That said, enjoy.

10. Johnny Depp
The old standby. I recognize that he is easily old enough to be my father and I am fully ok with that fact. Dude is hot. Old and hot. Plus, he owns a fuckin island. That's hella cool.
9. John Mayer
He's decently hot, but it's really his voice that gets me. He literally has one of the most seductive singing voices known to man in my opinion. He would rank much higher if he hadn't been defiled by basically every female celebrity in Hollywood, but there you are.
8. Daniel Dae Kim
If you know me, you know how I feel about Asians, and he epitomizes to me the perfect hot Asian male, with cheekbones that could cut diamond. He is one of my favorite reasons to watch Lost every week.
7. Jason Segel
In case you aren't aware, this was the guy who played Peter in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, (one of my favorite movies) and most recently, I Love You Man. He's totally attractive just because he's hilarious and I never get tired of watching him sing in a Dracula voice. I like a boy who makes me laugh.
6. Chris Pine
If you don't know who he is you must be living under a large boulder, but if so, he played Captain Kirk in Star Trek, which by the way, you should totally go see. Not only was he an excellent Kirk, but he is delicious. Nuff said.
5. Ben Barnes
aka Prince Caspian. He can rule my kingdom aaaalllllll day. Lol that's a little gross, sorry.
4. Shia Lebeouf.
I have been totally in love with him since his Even Stevens days when he was playing Louis. When I saw Transformers I wasn't sure if I was watching the movie at all because all i remember was him running a lot. It was a good couple of hours.
3. Ed Westwick
For anyone awesome (or lame) enough to watch Gossip Girl, you'll know that Mr. Westwick plays the best character in existence: the nefarious, scheming Chuck Bass. One wicked smirk from him per day is all I really need in life. Not to mention that in real life he's English and plays in a punk rock band. Super hot. Total win.
2.Robert Pattinson
WHAT. A. SHOCK. I don't think I have met anyone yet who is not in agreeance or completely dazzled by his gravity-defyingly epic hair. He's so attractive it's actually a little bit painful.
1. Zachary Quinto
Kind of unexpected, right? I hope you are familiar with his work, as he does play the best villain of all time, Sylar, on Heroes. I think you might recognize his work in Star Trek if you saw it, as the best Spock ever. I find his ridiculous/epic eyebrows fascinating, his cutting open people's heads to eat their powers awesome, and him in general to be like the sexiest man of all time. I sincerely hope he is Jewish because then I will have justification to stalk him without feeling too guilty about it. You know how I love the Jews.


So basically what I'm saying is, bring me one and I'll totally love you forever. Like. Forever. Failing that, tell me your top picks.

I'll be waiting, b's. Peace out.

X o X o,
♥luvcatt♥

5 comments:

  1. You know, I understand that Dale sort of knows Zachary Quinto - apparently they grew up near each other and his mom and Zach's mom are totally tight. You want, I could maybe hook you up.

    Also, you have no girls on your list, even though I know you would do Jessica Alba in a second...even if she was in the Fantastic Four outfit.

    As far as my own list...let's see...

    3. Jayma Mays
    2. Amanda Palmer
    1. Stephen Colbert

    Oddly, I can't think of more than three at the moment.

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  2. ed:

    1. do you really have to ask? im fairly sure that he is my soul mate. haha totally though.

    2. who are your number 3 and 2? and your number one choice is quite admirable i must say. i had no females because lets face it: 10 is a good handful and i already look like a prostitute so why push it?

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  3. Amanda Palmer - lead singer of Dresden Dolls

    Jayma Mays - Charlie from Heroes (and the cutest girl ever)

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  4. Oh Ash...this list could get me in trouble, but here goes:
    1. Johnny Depp
    2. Vin Diesel
    3. Nic Cage
    4. Liam Neeson
    5. Matthew McConaughey
    6. Trace Adkins
    7. Naveen Andrews
    8. Josh Holloway
    9. Joshua Jackson
    10. I can't believe I am admitting this in public - Angelina Jolie

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  5. In no particular order...

    1. Johnny Depp (no words needed)
    2. Brandon Fraser (hawtest caveman ever! I would totally join the French Foreign Legion with him)
    3. Jeff Hardy (he can take me down to the mat anytime)
    4. Gerad Butler (hawtest Spartan warrior, EVER!)
    5. Bruce Campbell (Ooooo that chin!)
    6. Vin Diesel (he can babysit me anyday)
    7. Clive Owen (so hawt as Sir Francis Drake)
    8. Viggo Mortensen (especially as Satan from Prophecy)
    9. Matthew McConaughey (more nude bongo drumming kplzthx!)
    10. Oded Fehr (tattooed desert guy from the Mummy)

    ReplyDelete